The Shinigami's Servant
by BunnieGunniez
Summary: Okay.. A DEATH-FIC! Don't sue me for mental depression after reading this. It's about Duo. Duo is my fave Character but he is suitiable for this fic. PLease R/R


BG: I have taken a break from my Communism series. It seems I can't get the plot to work right. But since I'm in the mood to write something, I'm writing this. So, onto the Disclaimers: I don't own Gundam. I love Duo, and that's about it. This is also a suicidal, depressing, mental, and scary Death-Fic. You have been warned. This has also been written while listening to alot KoRn. Now you know…  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
  
  
A voice  
  
It Says things  
  
The voice… telling   
  
Commanding…  
  
Duo turned violently in his bed. Bolting right up into a sitting position, sweating. Hot, but cold, breathing hard. What the hell… This is the… 6th time this… week, I… had this dream.  
  
It wasn't really a dream, though he thought it was. Dreams… nightmares, premonitions… truth of the blooming future.  
  
The voices… The voices are so familiar, yet, so… so not.   
  
Water.   
  
He needed water. His throat burned from the parchness. Getting up, the blankets thrown off. The reliving weight off his body, sweaty body, his clothes sticking to him. His formally loose, old and gray shirt, and his boxers, all encasing him into an airtight mask.   
  
The Mask.  
  
The mask he wore, every day, to hide his pain. The pain… the loneliness.   
  
The dark hole that was his life.  
  
The shinigami  
  
Death… He was the Shinigami. Or just a pawn, controlled by the Shinigami?  
  
Sliding and walking, against the walls of the hallways, outside his bedroom. So deathly quiet. Death… Can't anything stop?   
  
He was shaking… he could hardly stop. The shaking one gets from tiredness, and slight chill. The shaking, one gets, from restless nights, and fear showing up to one's skin. His body unable to stop.  
  
The water pitcher, on the counter. The middle counter in the middle of the kitchen. A cup. He needed a cup. Reaching into a cupboard, with a steady hand, grabbing one. The sweaty palms and the shatter of glass.   
  
"SHIT! Why can't I stop?"  
  
  
"Kill them…"  
  
Turning around, seeing who, what, where, why, and how. The voice, whispering. Cold as ice. Colder… Evil… Deathly…  
  
"Kill them… Kill them all…"  
  
"Kill who!"  
  
"Kill them… kill those who defy you."  
  
"Who are you?"  
  
"Kill those who don't understand you."  
  
"Tell me who you are!?"  
  
"Kill…"  
  
"Tell me who you are!"  
  
"Duo, you asshole, you woke me up! What is with all the fucking yelling?"   
  
Duo turned around. Heero was standing there. How long was he standing there? Has he heard? Heard the voice?   
  
The mask, forced back on by subconscious will. "Nothing! I was just getting some water, sheesh, can't a guy act out some movies on the way to get some water?"  
  
"Yeah, okay. Next time, do it a little more quietly before I hurt you beyond my control."  
  
Heero walked towards Duo to get the cupboard. Stepping back to away from the awakened sleepers range he cursed instead. "Mother Fuck!   
  
Stepping on the broken glass, the blood. The blood, his blood, looking inhuman. The presence of evil. It was part of him… it was him.   
  
Hands. Familiar, strong, cold, hands, gripping a hold on Duo. Leading him to a kitchen chair, forcibly. "Duo no baka. One day your happy manner will mean you death."  
  
You have no idea Heero. No idea.   
  
Heero walked away and came back from a kitchen cabinate with a white box. White. That color. White, with the red cross. Red.   
  
"Kill him…"  
  
Duo cringed. From the handling of the foot or something else, Heero hadn't a clue. He didn't ask. Only finished with the bandage. The blood didn't seem the bit odd. "I don't know what the hell is wrong with you, Duo. But you really look like you need some sleep."  
  
Duo looked up, almost frightened. And grinned, his mask back in control. "Nah… Can't sleep. I'll just hang out here. Thanks anyway Heero."  
  
"No problem." Before leaving, Heero placed a up of water on the table, near Duo. "Drink. And get some rest."  
  
Left. All alone. The mask, gone. God damn it. Why! Why can't I do anything with this. It's killing me!   
  
The glass, so cool and cold. Water. The water that looked like it could save a hundred lives. Maybe it could. Gulping it down. The sweet, pure, refreshing water, so good, so clean, so holy in its own means.   
  
Sudden disgust and odd taste taking over his mouth. He looked back to the water… now starting to see it. The true power of the water. It was evil… like his blood.  
  
"Kill"  
  
Shaking his head, it most disbelief. No. It can't be. Almost chocking out the words in a hush whisper. "no.."  
  
"Kill them. Kill them all!"  
  
"…no"  
  
"Now Messenger of the Shinigami! Kill those beings asleep in their beds."  
  
"What…?"  
"Kill those people who don't know true fear. Kill them and you can rule. You can be you."  
  
"I… I am not the messenger. I am in my control."  
  
"Kill them"  
  
"NO!"  
  
**********************************************  
  
"Wake up baka!"  
  
Light. Morning? No… he didn't fall asleep did he? Did he even go to the kitchen?"  
  
"Duo," the sound of their blond friend came through, "you okay? You fell asleep in the kitchen."  
  
All hope, gone. Duo opened his eyes. The bright morning… too bright.   
  
He smiled. The mask once again taking over. He no longer has control of it. "I feel like shit, my neck hurts… but I'm up for some pancakes. How 'bout you guys?"  
  
Heero and Quatra were in front of him. Heero with his usual face, and Quatra looking concerned. "I guess the cook will make them today. But Duo, you sure you are okay?"  
  
"Sure I'm sure."  
  
Damn it. Why can't the mask just go away!  
  
Trowa and Wufei entered the kitchen. They were all now just sitting around. Maybe some chat going on… but all was tuned out.  
  
"Kill them"  
  
Not this again! Go AWAY!  
  
"Kill them. A gun is in your drawer in your quarters. Poison tablets in your tin, in your duffel. Drug them. Kill them"  
  
They are my friends. No way in hell!  
  
"Kill"  
  
Why am I even bothering. Just ignore him. It has to go away sooner or later… will it?  
  
"Kill them."  
  
A slap. The back of his head aching. A hand in which knocked him back into reality.  
  
"DUO! WAKE-UP!"  
  
"Awuzawha? Hey Wufei! That was uncalled for!"  
  
"Actually Duo, you were just starring out into space, we called you about 5 times."   
  
No one was in the kitchen. Only him and Wufei. "Where is everyone?"  
  
"Like I was trying to say. Breakfast is done. We are in the dinning hall. Now, do you want to wake-up and join?"  
  
"I'll get changed first."  
  
Duo got up quickly and left the kitchen. He didn't care about the slight puzzled look on 05's face.   
  
The warm water showering his body, and the towel trying it. His thoughts… of nothing. A squishy feeling between his toes. His foot, still feeling wet.   
  
The bandage. From last night.  
  
Taking it off…  
  
Gasping…  
  
"What the fuck? I…I stepped in the glass! Where are the marks? Where are the scabs, the dry blood?   
  
"You are the messenger of Shinigami. He lives within you. You don't get hurt."  
  
"Just leave me alone!"  
  
"So you can continue your useless life with people who pretend to be your friends?"  
  
"They are my friends!"  
  
"They will kill you…"  
  
"THAT'S A LIE!"  
  
"… is it really?"  
  
Thinking… No! They are my friends. I will not kill them.   
  
"… are they really? Do they really care?"  
  
The slamming of the door, fresh clothes back on his back and the echoing of footsteps down the hall.   
  
The mask, back on…   
  
"Hey guys! Sorry I'm late. Better late than never huh?"  
  
"Duo, your… your eyes, they…"  
  
"They what Quatra?"  
  
"I see the same thing Quatra…"  
  
"See what Trowa?! Jeeze! C'mon guys! Nothing is wrong!"  
  
Taking a seat. The hard chair. The fluffy pancakes and sticky syrup. The disgusting taste left in his mouth. The mask saying nothing about it.  
  
"Duo… your eyes are … not right."  
  
"Get off the Subject! Shimatta! Can't a guy just have a bad nightmare and live anymore?!"  
  
Their forks… their knives… they all… all have blood.  
  
"What nightmare-"  
  
"GET OFF IT WUFEI!!!"   
  
Getting up. Rushing out. What was going on?   
  
"It's your mask…"  
  
"Wha?"  
  
"Kill them, you are free from your mask."  
  
"Kill them… kill the mask?"  
  
Footsteps. A voice. Harsh and soothing. Curious and serious. Worried and Calm. Heero. "Duo. What is going on?"  
  
"NOTHING! Sorry… nothing Heero."  
  
"I'll ask again. What is going on?"  
  
"It's alright Heero… you're right. I need some rest. I'm gonna lie down for a bit."  
  
Alone. A soft bed. Too soft. Sweat. Nightmares.  
  
Deserted streets. Wind. Deserted except for the bloody, lifeless bodies of people. People who he hasn't seen but wearing the clothes of his enemies. His mind. Telling him different. His heart… not there anymore. A reflection… a familiar yet unfamiliar face. Stern, serious, emotionless, fearless, all at once. This was Duo. It was his reality.   
  
No voices. But voices present. During around, seeing his friends, Quatra with Sandrock's swords. Wufei with his trident, Heero with a beam saber, Trowa with a gun. Heero talking, but nothing comes. Smiling. Grinning from ear to ear, watching them start to attack him. Not an ounce of pain. He is Immortal. He has become Shinigami. With one swift slash of his scythe-  
  
Darkness. Reality. Breathing heavily. Sweating. Cold chills, and hotness. "What… It looked so… so real. It… wasn't me… I wouldn't kill them, but… but I killed so many. All those people… dead because of me."  
  
Running. Running down the halls. Not knowing anything any more. Reminisces of the death of Solo… the burning of the church… how cold Sister Helena was. How cold Solo was. The blood… The blood of Sister Helena, Father Maxwell, and everyone who has gotten hurt of died from Duo. All on the walls. All over his hands. All over his mind.   
  
A hand, grabbing his arm. The pain of the grip. Trowa. "Duo… what are you doing? C'mon… sit down, and lets get some water."  
  
Trowa's Skeleton, his grave, his death, flashing through his mind. The graves of the other Gundam pilot's flashing in his head. Him seeming to laugh in the background. "I CAN'T"  
  
Duo ran back to his room. The walls seemed to close. The pain, the hatred, the temptation, the slap all, confusing.   
  
He couldn't allow to kill anymore. It no longer was under his control. He couldn't kill the innocent.   
  
The unbearable crying. The thoughts swarming through his head. He couldn't stand it… he could bare another bad thing happening, or else he would be the Shinigami.   
  
A thud… and darkness.  
  
****************************************  
  
"Duo! Open the door! C'mon! It's time to get out of that room!"  
  
Heero looked back at his friends. "I hear nothing."  
  
"C'mon Duo! Alright, I'm breaking down the door!" Heero shouted again. With a mighty force of the shoulder, the door came off its hinges. "Duo… c'mon baka, it's time to… talk?"  
  
"OH MY GOD!" Quatra shouted, "DUO!"  
  
Wufei picked up a red object from the floor. Small yet extremely dangerous. "Looks like… he…"   
  
Nothing else could be said.  
  
Trowa found a note on his desk… he read it slowly to everyone:  
  
My dear Friends,   
I'm sorry. I couldn't handle it. All the death and All the pain I have caused was too much to bare. The voice of Shinigami told me to kill you, and haunted me with nightmares that I know, would become the truth. I couldn't kill you guys. I killed myself. Thought I will not fight anymore, I will protect you all.   
  
I am no longer to Shinigami's Servant. I am no longer mortal. I am the spirit that will protect you all. I took the cheater's way out of the game; I pray that you guys don't do the same.   
  
I love you guys… don't fall into the trap and keep on fighting for what you believe in.  
  
Your pal,  
Duo Maxwell.  
  
*******************************************  
  
"We are gathered here… to honor a warrior who was also a very dear friend to all…"  
  
  
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BG: I'll end with this: Don't cheat out of the game… continue to fight. R/R please, tell what you think…  
  
  
  



End file.
